Amy & I would spend hours in Grandma & Aunties room picking up straight pins & trying to listen to what they were saying to each other. I would ask Grandma what she was doing an d she would say " Little Mending". Gosh I remember it like it was yesterday. Grandma sat next to that window and waited for us. Someone needed Amy & I to do what we could to "help her". I think we both knew early that we were not really helping her & Auntie as much as they were mending us. My heart was so sensitive and I can tell you on more then one occasion I would sit on Grandmas bed quietly not saying really anything. She would be holding my hand or rubbing her knee or fingering her Rosary beads & I just would look at her. Gosh! All the problems my worries (and I had a lot growing up) seemed to be washed away by her mending hands. I remember going to church and I would pray for her like this: Please God don’t take them yet I really need them. I was like 14 years old and still very much wanting to stay with them Is that weird?
When you lost baby Ben I sat on that bed trying to tell her how terrible it was, how sad you were. I started to cry and she smiled and said "It will be just fine, Jayne will be really alright and have many more children. " She was so sure of that and then went on to say that Julia will not! We both giggled. I miss her but I also carry her with me everywhere and am grateful for the time I had with her. It is the one great thing I want to live my life to deserve the merit of that gift .
2 comments:
What a great remembrance! I am sure that there are swirling memories of beauty in your house. One time I dreamt of Grandma and she was falling down the basement steps and really flew from the top to the bottom and she said to me if you fall, this is how. and she landed on her bottom. I laughed that I was so worried that she was going to hurt herself. Thank you for reminding me that she wasn't worried about me. Love you!
I do believe that Grandma Del knew how strong your faith was & had no doubt that you'd thrive. One never just prances on after a loss like that but we are able to dig in deeper and love with more conviction and hand over any of the pain with love to God who strengthens and sustains us all. I think some how all three are with me lately;-)I Love You too Jayne!
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